Miz Movies Speed Reviews

**** The Iron Lady

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:11:50 PM Be the first to comment!

Flawless Performance. Meryl Makes Monomaniacal Maggie Magnanimous

See it if you like whisky, with a dash of soda. For breakfast, lunch and dinner

**** X

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:11:17 AM Be the first to comment!

Powerful leads reveal flipside of Sleeping Beauty

See it if you like French Champagne for dinner, maccas soft serve for brekkie

**** Our Idiot Brother

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:10:56 AM Be the first to comment!

All families are like this aren't they?

See it if you like smoking hooch with cops, in uniform of course

Festival Highlight

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:10:25 AM Be the first to comment!

***** Tyrannosaur

Masterful handling of gritty, unromantic love story

See it even if you love dogs

*** The Look

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:10:19 AM Be the first to comment!

Fully clothed Charlotte Rampling exposes herself...fully?

See it if you like a snifter of Louis XIII after dinner

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:10:10 AM Be the first to comment!

** Searching for Michael Peterson

Old Surfers reminisce about Bad Old Days

See it if you like blowing the froth off a couple, of dozen

**** My Little Princess

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:10:08 AM Be the first to comment!

Bad move giving Mommie Dearest a camera.

See it if you like drinking Burgundy from the magnum at dinner parties, when you're 12.

*** Zero Hour

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:9:06 AM Be the first to comment!

For what the filmmaker's went through. Bravo!

See it if you like your Calentados extra hot

*** Sons of Perdition

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:8:18 AM Be the first to comment!

Mormon cult exposé is no Big Love.

See it if you like post-church bourbon and bong sessions

**** Attack the Block

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:10:38 PM Be the first to comment!

Check it. Tiny gangsters protect citizens. Believe.

See it if you like attempting a Superman while slugging on a Camel-Back full of Vodka Redbull

Million Dollar BIFF

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:9:47 PM Be the first to comment!

I once held the naïve belief that film festivals are altruistic, cultured events, whose agenda is only to enrich the intellect and awaken the spirit. I was Wrong. They are not nice. They are cruel, punishing endurance events that make the Coolangatta Gold look like a stroll down to Baskin Robbins for the sugar-charged oldies who retired before becoming too infirmed to wait until 5pm (official early bird dinner time), to get their fix of icecream - pre-warmed for sensitive teeth, in thirty different shades of vanilla.

On next year's programme, I expect the front cover to display the warning: This feast of films could be damaging to the looks; the use of botox is recommended (Best used after). I looked in the mirror in the wake of this event and thought oh wha? how did I get a black eye? Who punched me?

BIFF that's who, and I don't mind admitting... I loved it.

Here are some of my highlights...

** In Time

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:2:12 PM Be the first to comment!

Great premise poorly executed in every way

See it if you like serving Red Bulls at 80s parties

**** Midnight in Paris

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:10:14 PM Be the first to comment!

Allen brings dreams to life. C'est Magnifique!

See it if your life is L'instant Taittinger

**** Fire in Babylon

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:6:34 AM Be the first to comment!

Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day!

See it if you like downing Bumbos and Traitors on the beach

**** Drive

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:5:28 PM Be the first to comment!

Gosling channels McQueen in de Palma homage

See it if you like drinking flaming lamborghinis. In reverse.

**** Cave of Forgotten Dreams

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:5:02 PM Be the first to comment!

Neolithic artworks uncover mystery of Godfather scene

See it if you like drinking Jager bombs while lying naked on a bear rug

**** The Hunter

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:11:47 AM Be the first to comment!

Glorious 3,000 word jigsaw puzzle of tassie

See it if you like Boags Premium or Stefano Lubiana fizz. Chilled to the max.

*** L'Illusionniste

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:2:18 PM Be the first to comment!

Melancholic Magical Tour of Misfit Menage. Exquisite!

See it if you like drinking Beaujolais with vagabonds

*** Fright Night 3d

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:9:56 PM Be the first to comment!

Feeding Frenzy of Fun with Fanger Farrell

See it if you like fruity cocktails and hamming it up for the neighbours

***** Andy X

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:5:16 PM Be the first to comment!

Now that's what I call Arthouse, Bravo!

See it if you prefer taking the fire escape to the pub, when you live or work on the 13th floor.

*** Face to Face

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:12:06 PM Be the first to comment!

Actors hit their marks in unadorned adaptation

See it if you like boozy lunches starting with light white, moving to a deep red and finishing off with beer

**** 13 Assassins

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:7:40 PM Be the first to comment!

Samurai remake is Faithful, Disciplined and Bloody!

See it if you like drinking kegs of Sapporo until you land in the gutter for a snooze

*** Pina

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:9:30 PM Be the first to comment!

Avant-garde dancer doco given lift with 3d

See it if you drink wine from the bottle in bohemian cafes

**** Priest 3d

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:10:38 PM Be the first to comment!

Bettany restores Faith in Vampire/Western genre

See it if you like wearing a hooded cloak while sipping Dom Benedictine

**** Senna

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:8:29 PM Be the first to comment!

Action, Conflict, Sexy Lead: Winning Doco Formula

See it if you like drinking with strangers in dangerously seedy bars

Your Say So

**** The Guard

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:5:28 PM Be the first to comment!

Irish caper flick smooth like Guinness. Slainte!

See it if you like warm beer on cold nights

1st Iranian Film Festival Brisbane

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:5:29 PM 1 Comment so far

*** The Hunter

Cool vigilante makes Charles Bronson seem chatty

See it if you like sinking arak on the rocks, till the bottle goes bye bye

*** Rise of The Planet of the Apes

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:5:38 PM Be the first to comment!

Semiotically Superior Simians! Same old Same old

See it if you like Banana Daiquiris with far too much garnish

*** Hanna

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:8:47 PM Be the first to comment!

High Octane Action, Bad Accents, Great Music

See it if you like Poire Williams and skinny dipping at the snow

From the Cellar - Vintage Crop at the Cinema

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:6:44 PM Be the first to comment!

Yes I said Vintage Crop, although Crap may be appropriate for some.
Not these beauties. Tribal Theatre in Brisbane disgorges some classy fizz.

*** Tenebrae

Hilarious boobs and blood fest. Fabulous colour

See it if you like Chablis

****Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer

Scariest movie ever seems tame with time

C it if you like Depth Charges

Posted By:bloggoroad | At:5:56 PM Be the first to comment!

What's he doing here?

Who, the bunny?

Yes the bunny! Who did you think I meant, Lord Lagomorph?

What's your problem?

I was supposed to be the critic, the only one who will speak truthfully about the state of the arts in this country. Now you've gone and introduced that multi-mothered hare before me! It's a disgrace, with my breeding! I've a good mind to drop this whole deal and high tail it out of here.

So, what do you think?

What do I think? That's rich. I'll tell you what I think, I think you're wrong.

What about?

ALL OF IT.

What do you want to talk about?

Something different. A different cinema experience. MY experience.

Ok

yeah.