7 Word Film Reviews

Don't have time to read turgid movie reviews? Miz Movies gives you the low down in just 7 words!
And if that's too cryptic, check out her booze companion guide underneath. Guaranteed to make you want to see the movie, or get drunk - either way you are the winner.
Corporate style Fight Club is darkly satisfying

See it if you like Absynth through a fountain in a darkened back room
Where was Godzilla? Hiding from Walter White?

See it if you like drinks that are all hype, like Sex on The Beach
Confused plot, expressionless star, overblown concept. Horrible.

See it if you like walking into your local and saying "the usual thanks"
Adorable. Great cast, fun story, perfect setting

See it if you like blind tastings


Heartwarming tale of redemption, inspiration and wheels

See it if you like sharing buckets of Coronas
Effectively told doco with pictures and puppets

See it if you like having a litre of sangiovese when hearing a good story
Gilliam dazzles us with surprisingly coherent plot

See it if you like Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters
 Surprisingly scarey, Davis carries this so well

See it if you like Black Sambucca in a long thin beaker
Tom meets Aussies in sci-fi groundhog day.


See it if you like drinking anything and red bull while wearing camos.




Woody at his sharpest here. He's Back.


Stoli Martini with a twist of lemon of course!


The disappointment of humanity seen by immortals



See it if you like XO, no sorry type 0-








Everything you'd expect from Wes, and Fiennes!

See it if you like guzzling L'Air de Panache when appropriate booze is unavailable









Fun, Furious, Flinty and Ferocious Fight Flick

See it if you like lining up French Martinis in between Kung Fu bouts


This one belongs to actors. Dialogue appalling.

See it if you like drinking scotch till you speak fluent gaelic


All is Redford. I was there too.

See it if you like Rum and Sliders



True Blue Horror is Horrible. Fair Dinkum

See it if you like drinking games with moonshine where the stakes are digits



Another pointless remake. Cornish plays second fiddle

See it if you like Rusty Nails





A-grade cast adorn thrilling B-grade action flick

See it if you like downing Vodka in those tiny little miniature bottles








McQueen is an outstanding filmmaker full stop

See it if you like whiskey after being woken at 3am to Dance!

Aren't we all a bit like Llewyn?




The Great Beauty is in every frame

See it if you like Peroni Nastro Azzuro with penne all'arrabiata



If only today's Ronin were so brave

See it if you like Nanbu Bejin in the company of four fingered yakuza




Worst of Scorsese still better than most

See it if you like 'juice' with your ludes


Joachim lives the dream in glucose galaxy

See it if you like to wear sugar coated beer goggles while drinking alco pops




Chris Pine falls flat shooting for stardom

See it if you like Tooheys New




Coogan and Dench make a wonderful pair

See it if you like a snifter of brandy after every meal, including brekkie


Bale lives it, the rest are Acting

See it if you like Fluffy Ducks with Prawn Cocktails at swingers parties





Who needs sound and colour? Not me!


See it if you like Sangria with a twist



The scariest bit was the title design

See it if you like Halloween themed cocktails like Bloody Brains and Witches Brew


Mis-cast McCarthy mishmash is confused, contrived, convoluted

See it if you like to lick, sip and SUCK. Tequila blackout is the only answer.
Red 2 ***

Hopkins battles banality in sapless sequel. Stale.


See it if you like Red Wine with Red Meat 


Awful self centred Americans bully one another

See it if you have been looking for a reason to down a 'goon'. Keep the bottle for smashing one of these loons over the head with it.






Densel displays prowess in-air and off it

See it if u like a hotel mini bar stocked like they're expecting a footy team




Exquisite, Sumptuous, Sensual, Fluid... and too long

See it if you like Pedro Ximinez Valdespino  with raspberry-smothered Chocolate Fondant





Brilliant doco reveals corrupt justice, compassionate celebrities

See it if you like sharing Wild Turkey straight out of the bottle


Flying Bullets, Speeding Vehicles! Winstone seals deal

See it if you like gittin' bevvied till your bolloxed and bulletproof




Woman leads Aussies into combat capture. Great.

See it if you like beer. Don't choose a brand, just say "Get Me a Beer"








Style! Great production design, handsome cast. Winner.

See it if you like drinking Champagne just to hear the cork pop


Tarantino with wide audience appeal. Going soft?

See it if you like Wylie Howell Corn Whiskey and a fine fat cigar





Bleached true story perhaps better named Interminable

See it if you like White Russians and Vanilla Icecream