7 Word Film Reviews

Don't have time to read turgid movie reviews? Miz Movies gives you the low down in just 7 words!
And if that's too cryptic, check out her booze companion guide underneath. Guaranteed to make you want to see the movie, or get drunk - either way you are the winner.


Bale lives it, the rest are Acting

See it if you like Fluffy Ducks with Prawn Cocktails at swingers parties





Who needs sound and colour? Not me!


See it if you like Sangria with a twist



The scariest bit was the title design

See it if you like Halloween themed cocktails like Bloody Brains and Witches Brew


Mis-cast McCarthy mishmash is confused, contrived, convoluted

See it if you like to lick, sip and SUCK. Tequila blackout is the only answer.
Red 2 ***

Hopkins battles banality in sapless sequel. Stale.


See it if you like Red Wine with Red Meat 


Awful self centred Americans bully one another

See it if you have been looking for a reason to down a 'goon'. Keep the bottle for smashing one of these loons over the head with it.






Densel displays prowess in-air and off it

See it if u like a hotel mini bar stocked like they're expecting a footy team




Exquisite, Sumptuous, Sensual, Fluid... and too long

See it if you like Pedro Ximinez Valdespino  with raspberry-smothered Chocolate Fondant





Brilliant doco reveals corrupt justice, compassionate celebrities

See it if you like sharing Wild Turkey straight out of the bottle


Flying Bullets, Speeding Vehicles! Winstone seals deal

See it if you like gittin' bevvied till your bolloxed and bulletproof




Woman leads Aussies into combat capture. Great.

See it if you like beer. Don't choose a brand, just say "Get Me a Beer"








Style! Great production design, handsome cast. Winner.

See it if you like drinking Champagne just to hear the cork pop


Tarantino with wide audience appeal. Going soft?

See it if you like Wylie Howell Corn Whiskey and a fine fat cigar





Bleached true story perhaps better named Interminable

See it if you like White Russians and Vanilla Icecream



It was worth all the ANGst, Lee

See it if you like drinking until everyone in the room becomes a tiger, an orangutan, a zebra or a hyena









Werner Herzog rescues otherwise flaccid action flick

See it if you like sinking Jagerbombs while driving a coast road in the rain, no a storm, with the lights out and one arm tied behind your back
   
BEST                                                                                       

*****   Searching for Sugarman                                 Inspirational                      

*****   Killing Them Softly                                                       Artful                              

*****   Martha Marcy May Marlene                                 Gripping                      

*****   Moonrise Kingdom                                       Heartwarming                    

*****   We Need to Talk About Kevin                               Stunning                      

****     Lawless                                                                            Fine                   

****     Argo                                                                        Nail-biting                       

****    The Skin I Live In                                                Extravagant                           

****    Coriolanus                                                                      Novel                      

****    The Artist                                                                        Quiet



WORST

Stand alone Worst

-*   Paris – Manhattan                                                   Thoughtless


MEDIOCRE

 *   Savages                                                                                  Lazy

 *   Taken 2                                                                                  Tired

**  The Dark Knight Rises                                                      Boring

**  Looper                                                                             Annoying
   
                                                                                        

JUST MISSED BEST                                                         

****  DREDD 3D 
                                                                    
****  Seven Psychopaths

****  Shame

****  End of Watch 

***    Haywire 




**** Samsara

Snapshots of our cruel bizarre fantastic world

See it if you like Star fruit and Green tea Daiquiris