Miz Movies Speed Reviews

Best Movies of 2016

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Miz Movies Best Films for 2016.

In no particular order.

I, Daniel Blake - Real, engrossing, a delicate balance of pathos and light humour. One of the most important films of our time

Joe Cinque's Consolation - Fascinating/Shocking. Unbelievable/believable. This film looks sort of cheap and awkward to begin but is absolutely absorbing by the end

Early Winter - Beautifully constructed

Nocturnal Animals - Just gorgeous. Not a bad story but every frame is posed and gorgeous

Cafe Society - Just gets better with age. Allen is superb at period, and this gem is awash with his love for cinema and Old Hollywood

Goldstone - A fantastic Australian western. Great story, wonderful cinematography and, with the exception of Jackie Weaver (who was quite good but not great), exceptional acting

Youth - I can't say enough about how beautiful and moving this film was

Spear - What a knockout. Pederson rules. It was too long, but some of the dances were gold

Carol - Contemplative, sumptuous. This was a great film

Ma Rosa - Realism cinema from Philippines. I still can't believe it wasn't documentary

Deadpool - Not the greatest film ever, but for irreverence alone, it gets a vote. Funny too.

Some films may not be from the past year, but I saw them in 2016.

My Worst films of 2016

The Legend of Tarzan - could be a contender for Worst Film Ever Made

Batman vs Superman - I have no idea why this was made or what they were trying to achieve but it was as lame, boring and pathetic as they come

Zoolander 2 - A sequel with no purpose, or, gusto, humour or basically anything that gave the first its verve

Jack Reacher Never Go Back - (Are all the films so far in my 'worst of' category sequels? They seem to be). The first Reacher had some spunk, this has nothing going for it

Magnificent 7 - and while we're on the subject of pointless sequels...

Money Monster - Flat as a tack

Elle - too unconvincing, and therefore unmoving, no matter how hard Hubert tried

Steve Jobs - possibly Danny Boyle's worst effort. Everyone looked uncomfortable, including me

Snowden - if you're going to tell the story, tell it!

Neon Demon - Winding Refn didn't get away with it for this outing

* The Legend of Tarzan

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This ain't no swinging' Tarzan! Caveman Abdominus.

See it if you like blending your own vomit into a smoothie as a brekkie treat.

*** Hunt for the Wilder People

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Sam Neill was born for this role.

See it if you like sipping Brandy while sitting on a pointy surface, an uncomfortable but ultimately rewarding experience.

* Money Monster

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Flaccid Foster flaunts film fluff for fanfare.

See it if you like pina coladas with more garnish than rum

*** The Nice Guys

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Palpable chemistry between 'R & R' overpowers smarmy child.

See it if you like Sherbet Martinis and mermaid swimsuits

**** Youth

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Sorrentino makes a great beauty of age.

C it if u like Giacomo Conterno Barolo Monfortino while conducting an orchestra of cattle

**** Ma Rosa

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Filipino feature feels like doco. Realism rules.

See it if you like drinking San Miguel Pale Pilson and street gambling

**** Rams

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Love of sheep overcomes hate of brother.

See it if you like Brennivin and passing out in the snow

*** Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

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Perhaps the truest adaptation of Austen yet!

See it if you like drinking brandy through your brain after someone smashes a bottle over your head

** Observance

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Sound design gives Aussie thriller a boost

Retsina by the shot. What you can't see you can't question.

*** Deliver Us From Evil

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Move over Damien, your big brother's here!

**** Calvary

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There is no point threatening an Irishman.

See it if you like 12 pints of Guiness with Midleton Whiskey chasers on a school night

*** These Final Hours

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Well acted but ultimately deflating apocalyptic adventure

See it if ya like some pills with your coke, beer and gin smash

**** Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

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Hail Caesar! Gorilla warfare at its best.

See it if you like ... der!... Banana Daiquiris

* 22 Jump Street

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Two fat loons, one tall, one short

See it if you like drinking 50 million beers after you've opened every bottle with your eye sockets

***** Frank

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Don a big head and be yourself!

See it if you can cope with drinking Corona through a straw long term

** The Two Faces of January

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Could Oscar Issac be the new Pacino?

See it if you drink Manhattans in Manhattan, Singapore Slings in Singapore and Long Island Iced Teas on ... yep Long Island

** X Men - Days of Future Past

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McAvoy mines silliness, the rest look... silly

See it if you like spilling your Brandy Alexander all over your burnt orange caftan cos you insist on wearing shades indoors